Looking Back on Second Year

It is said that when time flies, it flies never to be regained. Another year of my life has gone by even quicker than the last, and for a while today I sat and thought to myself “what have you actually done this year”. Shortly after, I got thinking about what I didn’t quite achieve this year and quickly realised that although I’ve not met all the goals I set out to achieve, I have done far better than I had hoped I would at the start of the year.

Second year has been a very tough year for me, tougher than I ever imagined a year at university could be. If you’ve read any of my posts from this year, you’ll know that I travelled to Australia at Christmas to reunite with my big brothers and the rest of my family, a trip I was unbelievably lucky to experience. While I was so grateful for every second of my time out there, when I returned home it threw into question a lot of the things which I thought were important to me and that I held close to my heart.

I was experiencing some extreme emotional turmoil after Christmas and it lasted for a solid few months. I was feeling guilt over things I certainly shouldn’t have felt guilty about, I dropped some of my core values and I was so incredibly homesick that my first thought most mornings was whether I could make the next train home from Waterloo.

All things considered, with a lot of help from the most supportive group of people I have ever been lucky enough to know (my friends truly have been a blessing), I have achieved some of the goals that were most important to me this year. I have finally learnt to belt, and while I don’t have a massive range I never thought I would be able to do what I can now. My fear of singing in front of people no longer cripples me, and I am able to stand up and sing in front of my peers without the nerves that used to hold me back so badly. I’m far stronger physically than I was last year, and my technical ability within dance has come on further than I expected it would. I have faced fears, gained new skills, learnt tricks, taken part in classes I never thought I’d willingly go to, and ended the year by being involved in a wonderful musical with the most incredibly talented cast.

I find in this industry that people are so quick to criticise. It is incredibly rare to look at the positives of what you are doing; everything is always about what to improve or work on next. But today I am going to take a moment and say that I am proud. I am proud of where I am at the moment. I am proud of what I have achieved this year. And I am proud of the performer and the person I am becoming. This journey has been a roller coaster so far and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead.

Kate. X

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